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Sunday, May 31, 2020

Bʀᴇᴀᴋɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ Sᴛɪɢᴍᴀ ᴏғ Mᴇɴᴛᴀʟ Hᴇᴀʟᴛʜ

I recently shared some of my thoughts about mental health in response to a few questions for a college discussion post concerning anxiety and depression, underlying causes, the stigma surrounding mental health, reasons people do not reach out, and ideas to combat those problems. Since today is the last day of mental health awareness month, I decided to change a few things from what I originally wrote in order to make a more blog-like variation of my assignment here. I hope you will enjoy reading my thoughts on this. I would love to know how you feel about this topic too! (Feel free to DM me @ways2braid on Instagram) 💚

I would like to begin by acknowledging some of the situations that could be contributing factors in mental health issues: domestic violence, bullying, sexual abuse, breakups or toxic relationships, loss of a pet or a loved one, illness of oneself or a loved one, moving to a new place, failing to live up to one’s ideal self or an unattainable ideal that someone else has set, being unable to do something that one is passionate about, and disasters happening in the world. These and many other circumstances in which an individual might feel stressed, overwhelmed, or experience feelings of uncertainty or loss as a result of sudden life changes can contribute to the developing or worsening of one’s mental health issues. In addition, biological and genetic factors also play a role in mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, etc.

I feel that there are many reasons why it could be challenging for people to reach out for help, especially since different situations involve different emotions and are surrounded by different myths and stigmas of their own. In dealing with mental health struggles due to domestic violence, for example, the abuser would likely become angry at merely the hint of the victim opening up to a counselor, friend or family member about something like anxiety or depression. Due to the nature of abusive relationships, a victim may be brainwashed by the abuser into thinking that they deserve the abuse. The abusive person may convince the victim that the anxiety and/or depression is their own fault, that they are worthless, a lost cause, a waste of someone else’s time, or undeserving of therapy and recovery. The victim might be afraid to reach out for help to deal with their mental health issues because they fear being asked for further details that may lead someone to realize that the abuse is happening. I think a common idea surrounding situations such as this is that the victim “could just leave at anytime,” but many people outside of situations like this fail to realize that the solution is not so simple, thus often leaving the victim feeling too misunderstood to reach out for help at all.

In some cases, the person may feel shame or embarrassment for the traumatic experience that triggered anxiety and/or depression, and that prevents them from getting the therapy they need to begin recovering from the trauma. Some people may not feel comfortable asking for help because they feel like no one would understand them or their issues; therefore, it seems like it would be a pointless effort to make by attempting to explain. Still others may find reaching out for help challenging because they worry it would be perceived as “attention-seeking behavior” or that others might not even believe them at all. For young people especially, I think that jokes others make about mental illness could impact whether or not they reach out for help. In other instances, I imagine that a person’s mental health might gradually decline or begin as a seemingly normal response to a difficult trial, so the person ignores it, assuming it will eventually go away on its own. The overthinking caused by anxiety in itself may also prevent someone from seeking the help that they need. In a similar way, depression might cause someone not to reach out because they feel worthless and do not want to burden someone else. Some people might not even be sure of what caused them to fall into a downward spiral to begin with, therefore they do not know how to ask for help for a problem that they do not feel is readily understood even in their own mind. A person might not reach out because they compare their problems to someone else’s, or have been told directly that “others have it so much worse.” Therefore, feelings are invalidated or minimized and the individual who is struggling is lead to believe that their own mental health issues are insignificant, so that person then believes that their problems are “not bad enough.” This may lead one to postpone the idea of getting help because they have been made to believe that they don’t really need it in the first place. To some, it might even feel inappropriate or embarrassing to reach out for help because they feel as if they should be “strong enough to deal with it alone.” This type of mindset comes from our culture, as does the popular saying that “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” I can attest to the fact that this is so far from the truth, as the hurtful words people have said to me have played through my head on repeat even many years later, yet when I needed my arm surgically put back together after an accident in gymnastics, my physical health rebounded quickly and I progressed to harder skills. I much prefer the version that states “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will only cause permanent psychological damage.” Words cut deep, and I believe that some people may resort to facing their struggles alone in an attempt to protect their own mental health from the hurtful things they fear others might respond with if they were to try to reach out to them for help.

A common theme among the reasons I thought of for why it might be challenging for someone to reach out for help is the feeling or worry of being misunderstood. I think that raising awareness about mental health is a great way to combat many problems related to this. I searched for hours to find a video about the stigma around a specific mental health issue, but unfortunately never found one that I felt accurately discussed it. Instead, the few videos I found that dealt with the topic at all, promoted myths and neglected to highlight any root causes or even accurately explain the condition itself. As heartbreaking as that felt to me, it served as an example of how important it is to continue raising awareness, not just for mental health as a whole, but to speak out about specific mental illnesses that are rare, taboo, or that are not discussed often or accurately enough. Using a social media platform is an easy way for anyone to raise awareness and inform others about myths versus facts. There are so many hurtful things people seem to say because of the stigma surrounding mental illness. I think it is important to emphasize the fact that no one has the choice to wake up one day or the next dealing with mental health issues, and that someone dealing with anxiety, depression, or another psychological disorder cannot just “get over it.” The fact that one cannot possibly know exactly how something affects another person should also be acknowledged, because even if someone goes through the same experience, another person might deal with it much differently. Similarly, a message should be shared that pain is pain - each individual matters, as do their problems, no matter how big or small they may seem. We should promote a culture that validates a person’s psychological pain as they would someone with physical pain. It is extremely unhelpful to make jokes or degrading comments about mental illness, as someone in the same group of people could be struggling silently and this could make it even more difficult for them to reach out for help. I think that therapy and regular counseling sessions should be normalized and made to feel as common as if one were to go to the doctor for an annual checkup. Peer lead support groups can also help people to find understanding, validation and encouragement in each other during difficult times and eliminate feelings of loneliness in their own struggles.

The greatest suggestion I think I can give though, is to try. Make an effort. Oftentimes when people don’t understand something, they seemingly throw their hands in the air and give up altogether, but we must realize that we do have the power to make a positive difference in someone’s life, even if we do not understand exactly how that person is struggling. I know it can make all the difference in the world if someone simply asks a question like “how are you feeling today?” It can be tremendously helpful for someone who is struggling to have a person in their life who has a nonjudgmental and accepting attitude and is willing to provide a listening ear from time to time, without causing them to feel shame, embarrassment, or judgment for opening up. Talking about mental struggles often does not feel positive, but can have a positive impact nonetheless! I think it can also be helpful to separate the mental illness from a person’s identity and remind them of their qualities, such as being funny, kind, a good listener, etc. as opposed to anxious, depressing, boring, and so on. Just as it would not be seen as a character flaw to be forced to sit out of water activities due to wearing a cast for a broken arm, it should not be seen as a fault in one’s character to be anxious about being in a group or to feel depressed while others seem to be having a wonderful time, for example. 
Some ways to help a friend or loved one who is struggling are to treat them like a person, ask them what their triggers are, help them feel more comfortable in those triggering situations, send an encouraging message periodically to remind them of how much they mean to you, give them space if they need it, and be honest! It can actually feel quite comforting to someone to know that although you might not understand, you do want to and are willing to listen and learn how to better support them through the difficult times. Giving some reassurance that you won’t give up on them when things get tough is definitely another comforting way to help too.

I believe that each person has the ability to make a difference in our world in either a positive or negative way. Doing nothing is not a neutral response, but rather can often be a negative one. The ripples that occur as a result of one person’s kindness to another can impact things far more than one could ever imagine. The Asch experiment on conformity, which I studied in my psychology course, is a perfect example of how just one person speaking up can change an outcome. Just as the one person who said the correct answer in the experiment influenced some others not to conform to the majority, one person talking about the importance of mental health can help to positively influence others to speak out, and the impact might then be magnified exponentially. I believe this is one of the ways we can break the stigma and change how our world, culture, family, and friends view mental illness and the individuals whose lives are affected. 💚

~ As always, I am willing to listen if you are struggling and need someone to talk to. Because of my college courses, my response time may not be quick, but I will get back with you! Sending lots of love to you all, Abby ~


P.S. I also encourage you to check out Sam Cohen’s short video below, because I feel like the points she makes correspond well with my own perspective. I admire her bravery to speak out about this topic, especially as she deals with anxiety and depression herself, and I love that she highlights the invisibility aspect of mental illness in comparison to physical ailments.
Sam Cohen's Ted Talks Inspirational Speech